Cooking Edit

Cooking was the very first activity the gabbers used as a part of their lifestyles. The first gabber that successfully cooked and made food created the gabber-cooking lifestyle. Generally, it involves cooking food just like a regular gabber. However, there are 4 steps one would have to do before starting the process of making food.

History Edit

The first gabber to successfully cook food and make a meal (2016) invented the gabber cooking activity. Unfortunately, he died before he got to taste the food himself. His mistake was to invite 2 dance partners instead of just one that he trusted. The second dance partner was in reality a shootman, disguised as a dance partner for unknown reasons. When he asked someone he believed was a dance partner to taste his food, this person revealed his true identity as a shootman. The gabber chef was shot in the chest and died seconds later. His ghost screamed EUUEUEEHH at his real dance partner, who simply stood there watching his chef's death. The gabber chef died, but is now remembered as the true origin of gabber cooking. His dance partner has chosen to go hiding and refuses to give any information. The shootman mysteriously disappeared.

Step 1 Edit

Before one can cook like a gabber, one would have to dress like a gabber. The essentials are sunglasses or shades with a color, a t-shirt with a logo or text referring to a musical festival, a thin beanie and shorts. As long as these four essentials are covered, the chef may add whatever he/she likes to the outfit.

Step 2 Edit

The next step is about finding a matching dance parnter. Two people are required to perform a successful gabber mealtime. This usually consists of the chef and the dancer. However, both participants can take turns cooking and dancing, as long as both activities are constantly happening. The dancing partner needs a matching, or at least very similar clothing as described in step 1.

Step 3 Edit

The third step is short and easy. The chef needs to be able to talk like a gabber. Many would say that one simply has to talk as if he/she is about to vomit, although there are different techniques. They are further described on the gabber language page. As long as one overdrives a British-sounding accent as much as possible, it's all good.

Step 4 Edit

The last step is to drink large amounts of coffee, or a "shit ton of coffee" as the gabbers refer it by. Coffee is another essential part of the gabber lifestyle, and the ancient gabbers drank several cups without breaks, which is the reason they are very energetic and hyperactive in modern times. The coffee is normally mixed with large doses of milk and brown sugar.